Jacqueline's pictures and thoughts

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Feelings and thoughts... less than 2 weeks to go

It's been a while again since I used this blog, but I decided that it's going to serve a purpose again.

As some of you may know... my girl Angela is going to leave for Thailand in less then 2 weeks together with a friend of us. Our friend is going there for surgery and Angela decided to help a friend in need.
Which means for me that for a whole month she will be about halfway around the world compared to where I am.

Now as you might imagine my feelings about this were quite all over the place although they have settled down. I will probably touch upon this in later blogs as I'm quite sure that I want to get it out from time to time.

However, for now I just want to tell you how I'm coping with all of this at this moment in time. Knowing time flies and that, before I know it... these last days are gone.

How do I do that? It's quite simple and then again it isn't... I'm trying to live in the moment. To experience moments together as deep as I possibly can. So not fleetingly do something and almost forgetting it WHILE you are doing it.
I always sit down with Angela after showering in the morning. She is then still snoozing in bed and I watch the news headlines.
The past week or so I make a note to myself to do this MINDFULLY (ie to really be in the moment). As I want to be able to conjure up that image when she is so far away.

How cuddly and warm she is, how she smells and how she looks. And how my hand gets warmed up when it's touching her skin and and and...

Also...I notice now that when you do that, when you try to be mindful.. sure time still flies but it seems to sometimes almost stand still for one fleeting moment.

This I also had when we were shopping last Saturday. I made sure to tell myself to be in the moment and enjoy it. The simple things/standard things...doing it together. Walking hand in hand in the sunshine outside, going to look for food and just enjoy each other company.

I'll be ok, I'm making the memories right now and loving it. I'm planning for tomorrow but not thinking about it too much as it also comes when you don't worry about it or think about it...

To be continued on this journey of self discovery... :)